Do the Hardest Thing For Yourself, Be Honest

These were the words that fell open to me the day I knew my marriage had come to a screaming halt, I was sitting in the hospital with a broken finger and the Oprah mag fell open on my lap to this full page ad. It was God speaking directly to me. Be honest with yourself!

This quote of Oprahs' changed my life and now it is the code by which I live, despite how hard it is at times... because no matter how honest I maybe with everyone else... I am not always honest with myself. I get myself into situations over and over again that are perfect learning opportunities to discouver more about who I am, and who I am not. I try to decieve myself with grand illusions of fitting into shoes that are not meant for me with this comendable confidance that " I can do anything". Honestly, I am realizing that not everything is meant for me to do.

I am not a school bus driver, I know this because I drove a 72 passenger diesel school bus in Airdrie, Alberta for six months.

I am not a Home Depot Associate, nor a Decor and Flooring Specialist, I know this because that was my position for 7 months.

I am not a Professional Singer, because I did that and I could'nt keep up with the late night networking in order to promote myself.

I am not a Professional Artist, because while in Art School, I lived on rice cakes and cookie dough and I didn't like being a starving artist.

I am not a Child Care Worker, though I've raised two children of my own.... working with kids give me migraines. LOL

I am not a Life Insurance Sales Person, or any kind of sales person for that matter whatever the MLM, I am just not millionaire driven.

I am not a Sectretary or Office Manager, as I am just learning now... I have bigger dreams!

What I am is a teacher! And now I am embracing this and fullfilling a life long dream to teach adults (and some fortuneate young people) the things that I have learned and are now mine to teach.

I feel a load fall off my shoulders and a big smile screaming accross my face! Finally, no more wrestling with myself to fit into shoes that are not mine! I have a lisence now to dream bigger and that is truly exciting!!

I am amazed at how difficult it has been for me to be honest with myself! Like as if I needed permission to do so, isnt that crazy? When you have been victimized by someone elses' shortcomings and disappointments with their own lives and have born the brunt of their own frustrations for so long... well. you almost need de-programming.

You need to re-wash your brain with honest truth! I am a child of God! I am fearfully and wonderfullly made! I am beautiful! I am deserving of every good and wonderful gift! I am powerful! I am amazing! My thoughts, ideas and dreams are divinely orchestrated! I am one incredible person!

And so you are! and that is the beginning of being honest with yourself!


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