Falling with Grace
Over the holidays I had a terrible fall down the stairs... at the moment I realized there was no stopping it, I surrendered to the fall. I tumbled and turned down over 4 feet of stairs, with no railing, down past the pile of snowshoes and walking sticks onto the concrete floor at the bottom. In that instance when I knew I could not control it, I let my body go limp, and I fell to the bottom without breaking anything. The hardest thing was hearing my husband at the top of the stairs realize what was happening to me and that there was no way he could get to me in time to save me from the fall. Bless his heart and his love for me! At the bottom of the stairs, sitted and hugging my knees into my chest a range of emotions went through me. At first I began to shake as the adrenaline slowed and my consciousness came back into my body... at somepoint in the fall my brain had turned off though I watched with my eyes the room falling I was not aware of where and how I hit the stairs. It now reminds me of Alice, falling down the Rabbit Hole. Sitting at the bottom my first conscious thought was of humiliation. I did'nt want any attention and I shied away from reassuring my husband because I didn't want to acknowledge what had just happened.... I was embarrassed, first and foremost. I'm still pondering over this??? Then I went into denial and got up and went to the laundry, the reason I was there in the first place. Pain was starting to overwhelm me... my husband lovingly watched as I yanked things from the dryer. I'm sure now he felt quite perplexed with my behaviour. He put his two hands on my shoulders to support me, for now I was feeling faint. He took me into his arms and there in that safety, I wept. Days later deep bruises made their way to my skin. My ankles, both my arms, and my left butt cheek were deeply bruised. It was quite traumatic and very significant.... in everything there is a lesson, if only we but look for it. This is what I have learned from my fall. Sometimes we just have to allow ourselves the grace to fall... and there is nothing humiliating in that, and sometimes we need to allow someone else to help us to our feet and help us move on... this is what I call "falling well." And though I still am sporting doozies, I was fortunate I did not break anything... the only damage was a bruised ego!