Being Angry

talking the talk is easy but walking the walk much harder. I know I have a choice in how I respond to things, especially those things that cause me great emotion. I know that the choice is: react out of ego or respond out of spirit. I think it is essential that we honor our emotions, learn to recognize them and embrace them, but then I think it is just as essential to learn discipline and skill so as to not allow our emotions to rule us.

I want to scream my head off, I want to throw things around the house and hear them crash, I want to break something, I want to feel the energy of destruction coursing through my veins as anger, hurt, dissappointment run rampant in my body. I want everyone to know just how mad I am, I want to feel my power change everybody else in my quake, I want everyones walls to come crashing down around them, just like mine have. Sound familiar???

As Women, we contain so much power within us, we dont often realize the many times we abuse it.
When I see it in my girls faces when I've just yelled at them, I am reminded that as the adult, as their Mother, as their teacher and guide.... I must learn discipline over my emotions. That is what I am teaching them, when they fall and hurt themselves, when they feel wronged or hurt, when they feel overwhelmed. I teach them to use their words.

We can have a communication that does not involve manipulation with emotion. Tears are essential to embracing emotion but at some point the crying has to come to its end and we begin to pick up the pieces with understanding using words.

Sometimes I want to be that woman that recklessly with abandon slashes out and wreeks havoc with those around her. I want to be the one that slams doors and slaps faces! I want to be the fire that yells with anger at the situation, I want to expel the frustration and inner turmoil that stirs within me.

But that is not the path that I have chosen. I have chosen a path of self-discipline, of Love. And yes, I can be angry, I can feel rage... but I chose not to react out of these emotions. I am always choosing...
to not react out of ego. If I choose to lash out, who takes the lashings for my emotional state? my children, my partner, my friends, my neighbor, the person driving the car in front of me??? Am I improoving my situation by inflicting it on others? Am I making myself feel any better? Am I really dealing with whatever has upset me in a productive manner? NO.

So, I forwarn everyone. I let them know that my feelings have been hurt, that I am feeling angry about it, that I feel disappointed, I tell them why I feel this way and I ask them to be compassionate and understanding if my fuse is a little short. I let them know when I am PMS'ing and that that causes me to be irritable and easily frustrated, and we work together as a family to create a safe place for us all: one that helps me practice the self control that I need to keep myself from loosing the plot altogether and causing hurt in my loved ones.

I believe anger is a powerful energy, and we need to use it responsibly. The key is not to cause anyone anymore harm, but to harness that energy for purpulsion, for energy clearing, for moving forward. I think everyone can respect that when you can say calmly that you are angry that they will listen and become apart of your healing, as opposed to you reacting to everone out of anger causing them all to pull away from you in defense.

I like the concept of waiting 24 hours. I find the sting of my emotions subside after a little soulful contemplation. Afterwhich it is much easier for me to share and discuss the situation in a calm and assertive manner that is effective for bringing peace and healing. It is easier to find words you wont regret when you are in a calm and clear headspace.

But then there are the situations that call for anger: Remember Jesus throwing over the money changers tables in the synagogue? Sometimes tough love is the hardest to deliver, especially when you have been hurt by someone else. A friend once told me that, Krista, only you can look after you!
Anger can be a great red flag for when we need to protect ourselves and our loved ones. We shouldn't be afraid to speak our minds and our hearts: the challenge is not to be hurtful in doing so.
We should never be afraid of our own truth and we should recognize it when someone or thing is challenging us to deny our truth. Sometimes a tossing of the table is the only response, but when it comes from Spirit and not Ego, the act will have positive results. Ego is self propelled, Spirit is Love propelled.

We can be angry and still act in a spirit of love in resolving whatever issue has upset us.


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